Sunday, 2 October 2016

History Facts October 2nd

On This Day In History in 1452, Richard III of England was born. As a complete and utter nephew-murdering bastard.
Richard III became King of England in 1483, because he really, really wanted it. And nothing is going to stand in his way.
Except, maybe the kid. And the other kid. But those can be dealt with easily enough.
Richard's brother was King Edward IV, and when he died, Richard was named Lord Protector for Edward's twelve-year-old son, Edward V. A position Richard took seriously. Very seriously. Very, very seriously, Mwahahahaha.
As the young Edward V travelled to London to take his place as the new King of England, Richard, ever the loving uncle, and totally serious about that Lord Protector title, met him halfway and escorted him into the capital city ... and then right into the Tower of London.
One down, one to go.
A few days later, Edward's nine-year old brother was kidnapped and imprisoned in the Tower as well.
Gotcha both. Now no one can stand in my way, Mwahahaha.
Richard III killed the Princes in the Tower.
Yep, he killed his 12-year-old nephew, Edward V, and Edward's nine-year-old younger brother, Richard, Duke of York.
Well, there is no actual evidence that he did, but let's say he did. Mainly because he probably did. But also because he actually did.
In June 1483, Richard declared that Edward V was not the rightful king as he was the illegitimate son of Edward IV. As was his younger brother.
This cleared the way for Richard to take the throne for himself.
Richard-The-Turd was crowned in July 1483.
But, Richard knew the two kids, or their supporters, could dispute Richard's new kingly position and mount an uprising against him.
This could be a problem. Hmm, what to do?
In August, the two young princes disappeared, never to be seen again. It's a mystery that has never been solved. But, obviously, Richard is innocent of the crimes and certainly didn't bury them beneath the stairs. He had no motive.

More Fun History Facts for October 2nd

On This Day in 1535 Jacques Cartier, a French explorer who loved to watch, discovered the area where Montreal is now located.
Back then it was called Hochelaga and had a thriving population of locals, and over a thousand people came to greet him when he arrived.
So, when we say he discovered the area where Montreal is now located, we obviously don't count, for some reason, everyone who lived there already.
This Day In History in 1919, Woodrow Wilson, President of the United States of America, had a massive stroke, which upset his wife, as he did it to a passing prostitute. She beat the living crap out of him and it left him partially paralysed.
On This Day In History in 1925, John Logie Baird demonstrated the first test of a working television, where he spent two hours flicking through seven hundred channels and deciding there was nothing worth watching.
On October 2nd, 1952, Britain's first atomic bomb kaboomed on the MonteBello Islands, West Australia. Because someone saw a spider. And the only safe way to deal with a spider is to nuke the evil son of a b....

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