Tuesday, 30 June 2015

On This Day In History - 30th June

Image result for magnetoON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 30TH JUNE
30th June 350, Nepotianus, who had a sore bottom, was killed by Magnentius, played by Ian Mckellen, opposite Patrick Stewart.
Nepotianus, get some cream to rub on that, became a usurper and then Emperor for a staggering 28 days, but then suffered a humiliating defeat when Magneto stormed into town ahead of an army of mutants to claim the crown.
Image result for jousting30th June 1559, King Henry II of France decided to do a bit of jousting. I've got a bad feeling about this.
He did pretty well in the opening rounds, but then came up against a fellow jouster Gabriel de Montgomery. And, not taking into account that he was fighting the King, Gabriel wounded Henry and then Henry died.
Everyone was shocked that the king didn't win, and that he was mortally injured, no more so than Henry himself.
Henry's last words were, "You little bast...."
Image result for night of the long knives30th June 1934, Adolf Hitler proved way before the start of World War 2 what a complete and utter git he was by eliminating most of his political rivals in Germany.
It is known as The Night of the Long Knives, not because the blades were knives and really long, but because the knives were blades and not short.
Not his fault, Hitler was just going through a stabby phase in his life. Soon to move onto a blow up everyone phase so he skip to the King of the Universe phase.
His phases ended in 1945 with the obligatory shoot-himself-in-the-head-phase. Yay!
Image result for 99930th June 1937, the world's first ever emergency telephone number is introduced in London.
The famous number is 999, the number of the head-standing devil. Since it's introduction, other countries have spawned emergency numbers, including the United States and the 911 number.
The 999 emergency number in the UK handles over half a million calls every year, from "How long do you cook a turkey?" to the more serious, "My laptop is broken, can you give me a lift to the shops to get it fixed."*
*Both real 999 emergency calls. I didn't make that up. Seriously.

Monday, 29 June 2015

On This Day In History - 29th June

Sverre Sigurdsson (Nidaros Cathedral).jpgOn This Day In History - 29th June.
29th June 1194, Sverre is crowned King of Norway.
He is considered to be one of the most bestest important kings of Norway as he was short.
And who doesn't love a short king?
Image result for charles i execution whitehall29th June 1644, Charles-the-first-Charles-whose-head-was-offed had a slight glimmer of hope during the English Civil War when his army defeated the Parliamentarian army at the Battle of Cropredy Bridge.
It was a great battle and a great victory, then it all went wrong. He lost the rest of the war, was captured and had his head chopped off.
The Battle of Cropredy Bridge was actually the last battle won by an English King on English soil. So, at least Charles I had that going for him.
Image result for stargate atlantis29th June 1995, during the closing stages of the Space Shuttle Program, just when the world will need them the most, the STS-71 mission and the space shuttle Atlantis docked with the Russian space station Mir.
It delivered a few astronauts, refuelled, then sped off to land Bruce Willis on an asteroid hurtling towards the Earth. Because it's easier to train drillers to be astronauts, then astronauts to be drillers.
Why would you take a gun into space? Well, you never know what aliens are going to try and do some drilling of their own. That's why. No one can hear you probed in space.

Sunday, 28 June 2015

On This Day In History - 28th June

Image result for edward ivOn This Day In History - 28th June.
28th June 1461, King Edward IV of England, perhaps, because, well, he may not have been legitimate, was crowned King of England.
Edward IV became the first Yorkist King of England. That's a mix between a chocolate bar and a small terrier dog.
There were constant rumours throughout his reign of his maybe perhaps not so much father wasn't actually his father. Edward was tall and Daddy was not. Yep, that's good enough for me.
Image result for henry viii28th June 1491, King Henry-of-the-many-numbers(8) of England, was born. And born without any numbers, as his brother, Arthur, was meant to be king.
An unfortunate early death for Henry's big brother allowed Henry to jump to the head of the queue and become heir to the throne. As well as the crown that was meant for his brother, Henry also took his wife, Catherine of Aragon. Keeping it in the family.
Image result for lost car keys
28th June 1645, during the English Civil war (read about the Battle of Naseby during the Civil war) the Royalists lost Carlisle.
And their car keys. And marbles. Sheesh, they gotta be around here somewhere.
Image result for queen victoria
28th June 1838, Queen Victoria was crowned Queen of Great Britain and Mars, and Saturn, and that place near the entrance to Mordor.

She lived a long time. A very long time. And is in the Guinness Book of Records for ruling the United Kingdom for the longest. What? She might be in there? Will have to read the book to find out.
Image result for archduke franz ferdinand28th June 1914, Archduke Franc Ferdinand of Austria and his wife Sophie were assassinated by a Bosnian Serb nationalist in Sarajevo.
Uh oh. I got a bad feeling about this.
Nope, that's the hedgehog tickling my feet.
However, the assassination began a series of events that led to the start of the first world war. Perhaps that feeling had nothing to do with the hedgehog.