Wednesday, 17 June 2015

On This Day In History - 17th June

Image result for edward longshanksOn This Day In History - 17th June
17th June 1239, Edward I of England was born. He was King of England between 1272 and 1307, but most famous for his stonkingly long shanks. Hence why he is better known as Edward Longshanks.
17th June 1462, a battle known as The Night Attack of Targoviste took place between Vlad III of Wallachia and Mehmed II of the Ottoman Empire. Vlad attacked Mehmed during the night, gotta wonder how they came up with these names, and tried to assassinate him. Mehmed survived.
Image result for vlad the impalerHowever, Mehmed survived and marched to Targovise, the Wallachian capital, preparing to destroy it. What they found when they arrived to meet up with the rest of their army was, shall we say, a shock.
There were 20,000 impaled Turks waiting for them. Let's get the ducks out of here. And they did. Pretty darned Quick.
I know what you're thinking: Vlad, that name rings a bell. Yep, it was Vlad the Impaler. Wonder how he got that name. But, Vlad is better known under another name - DRACULA.
I vant to dwink your blood.
Image result for Battle of Deptford Bridge17th June 1497 the Battle of Deptford Bridge took place at, can you guess, yep, Deptford bridge. It's south-east London, in case you were wondering.
It too place during the Cornish Rebellion when King Henry VII (one more to go before the interesting one) mustered an army of 25,000 men to put down the Cornish rabble.
As one of the defeated Cornishmen said, "They were slathered in this hot sauce, normally reserved for a nice sirloin steak. We never stood a blinking of a chance. They kept saying how bad we were at spelling, and maths, and how ugly were. It was nasty."
Now, that's what happens when you have mustered an army to put down some blokes who are rebelling. Hot sauce and insults.
Wait a minute. Put down. Oops, that's not insulting someone, is it? It's blinking killing them. And I'm assuming the covering of soldiers in mustard is wrong, too?
Image result for charles xii of sweden17th June 1682, King Charles XII of Sweden was born. He became the King of Sweden at the age of 15, and ruled for the next 21 years until he had an unfortunate encounter with a mysterious force.
Some say his death was the result of an enemy bullet on the battlefield. Sweden was at war with Denmark at the time, and Charles was in the middle of the fighting. Not a great place to be, but leading from the front is a sign of a true leader.
However, another theory exists that he was shot by one of his own men. Charles wasn't a popular kid and he could have been murdered by his own sister so she could take the throne, then pass it to her husband.
The third theory is the most plausible. Charles XII of Sweden was murdered by a ninja hedgehog out from revenge after Charles brutally murdered ninja hedgehog's brother in a duel of single wombat.
Image result for statue of liberty arriving in new york17th June 1885, The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor. We're not quite sure how it happened, but half way across the Atlantic, she jumped off the ship and swam the rest of the way.
She was pretty keen to get to America. Or, it was to get away from the French, who were giving the Statue of Liberty to America as a present.
Image result for guillotine17th June 1939, Eugen Weidmann became the last person in France to be publicly executed by guillotine.
Not actually the last person executed in this manner in France, though. All other guillotining was done in private. Because that's how civilised people did it. In the privacy of their own homes.
Image result for t rex17th June 1944 Iceland declared their independence from Denmark.
Iceland now celebrates their Icelandic National Day every June 17th, so Happy National Day to all my Icelandic followers.
Iceland is famous for having the cave which contains the entrance to the Centre of the Earth, a heck of a journey, where all the dinosaurs live in secret.
Image result for Dusky Seaside Sparrow17th June 1987, after the death of the last Dusky Seaside Sparrow.
Yet another species becomes extinct. Unless they are all hiding inside that cave with the dinosaurs, and Donald Trump's real hair.
Please leave a comment. Question of the Day: Which extinct species should we bring back?

1 comment:

Jed Cullan said...

Even after watching the Jurassic Park/World movies, I'd still bring back the dinosaurs.