On This Day - 21st January

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 21st JANUARY

 

On This Day, the 21st of January 1793, King Louis XVI of France was executed by way of having his head severed from his shoulders by the infamous guillotine.

 

Louis XVI had been arrested the previous August (13th August 1792) and imprisoned in the Temple, and ancient fortress in Paris. When the National Assembly met on the 21st of September, they had nothing but bad things to say about the king.

 

In fact, they went as far as saying he was a big poo-poo-pants and that France should no longer have a king because he was a big poo-poo-pants. They declared France to be a Republic and ordered the monarchy be abolished.

 

At first, they were content to keep the King locked up. But the discovery of the armoire de fer, or iron chest, in the king's bedroom, was the straw that broke the king's back. He was riding a camel at the time. And the camel also suffered the pain.

 

The iron chest contained compromising documents. Mostly relating to camel porn. And correspondence, mainly to Camel Illustrated, a camel swimsuit magazine, that detailed erotic stories the king had written where he played out his fantasies.

 

The scandal discredited the king. A lot.

 

On the 11th of December 1792, the King was escorted from the Temple and brought before the National Convention. He was accused of High Treason and crimes against the State. As well as indecent exposure to a humped animal.

 

The Convention voted and delivered their verdict on the 15th of January, 1793. To say the King was vexed by the decision they made would be an understatement. They had decided to separate his head from his person. He was well and truly vexed out of his mind.

 

But, what annoyed King Louis XVI even more than the decision, was that his own cousin, Philippe Egalite, the former Duke of Orleans, had also voted for the King's execution. What-A-Git.

 

But, there's always a silver lining. Philippe Egalite, the King's cousin and friend, was executed, also by way of guillotine, the following year.

 

Charles Henri Sanson, the King's Executioner, testified after Louis XVI was executed, that the King, or rather, former King, as they had de-king'd him prior to the beheading, met his fate most bravely. A death worthy of a King. Or former King. Because you can't execute a King. That'd be wrong.

 

De-King'd Louis XVI gave a short speech at the top of the scaffold before his death. Well, it had to be before, as giving it afterwards would have been scary as hell for those watching.

 

The de-king'd Louis was gracious and calm as he pardoned "those who are the cause of my death."

 

He then whispered under his breath, "Apart from my cousin. Guillotine the hell out of that son-of-a-bitch."

 

Also in the news:

On This Day, the 21st of January 1908, The Sullivan Ordinance was passed in New York City. The Ordinance made it illegal for women to smoke in public.

 

A bit unfair and sexist if you ask me. And the Mayor of New York at the time agreed. He went on to veto the Ordinance, so now everyone, no matter what sex they are, can smoke in public in New York City. What? They can't? Really? No one? Is smoking bad for you or something?

 

On This Day, the 21st of January 1968, ONE OF OUR FRIGGING BOMBS IS MISSING. Should we not be worried?

 

A United States Air Force B-52 bomber from the 380th Strategic Aerospace wing out of Plattsburgh Air Force Base, New York, flew a secret airborne mission after being put on a nuclear alert.

 

The bomber was carrying a payload that included four nuclear bombs.

 

As it flew near Thule Air Base, the plane crashed detonating the high explosives in the units of all of the B28 nuclear bombs. Thankfully, neither nuclear or thermonuclear reactions took place. However, it did contaminate the entire area.

 

Although the Pentagon maintained, and still does, all four bombs were destroyed, an investigative reporter with the BBC News found that the United States Air Force was unable to account for one of the weapons.

 

It's gotta be around there somewhere.

 

Celebrity Birthday

On This Day, the 21st of January 1976, Emma Bunton was born.

 

Emma is best known for being Baby Spice in the globally successful pop group Spice Girls.

 

And it was a really successful. However, as a solo artist, after the band split, Bunton wasn't. He debut album peaked at number four in the UK charts and ranked as the 147th best-selling album in 2001.

On This Day - 20th January

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 20th JANUARY

On This Day, 20th January 1265, The first ever English Parliament to include not just Lords, but also the common people, was held at the Palace of Westminster.

The English Parliament, or Simon de Montfort's Parliament, only lasted a few months, but it was the start of what would become the new normal for English politics. The summoning of both Commoners and Lords alike to discuss the politics of the nation.

Simon de Montfort didn't start this tradition out of his belief the people should be represented in parliament. He did it as his power was dwindling and this was the only way to get it back.

Simon de Montfort had taken control of England after defeating King Henry III at the Battle of Lewes. But, soon after, his power was being threatened. He needed more support. And that support wouldn't be found with the barons, as they were getting annoyed with Montfort.

He decided to summon representatives of the barons, although only a few dozen showed up, as he didn't invite all of them. He also summoned the knights of the shires and also burgesses from the major towns.

They discussed radical reforms and Montfort had control again. Although that didn't last. Later that year, Montfort was mutilated at the Battle of Evesham. However, the idea of inviting commoners to parliament held, and when Edward I became king, he continued to do it, the idea proving quite popular.

In Other news

On This Day, the 20th of January 1936, Edward VIII became king of England. Then went and abdicated the daylights out of it a few months later.

On This Day, the 29th of January 1649, King Charles-The-First-Of-Two-Soon-To-Be-Three is put on trial for crimes that included treason and stealing candy from a baby.

Celebrity Birthdays

On This Day, the 20th of January 1934 Thomas Stewart Baker was born.

Who?

Yes, Doctor Who.

It's none other than Tom Baker, who is famed for playing the fourth incarnation of The Doctor in the hit Sci-Fi show, Doctor Who.

On This Day, the 20th of January 1920, Jackson DeForest Kelly, better known as DeForest Kelly, was born.

Of course, he's dead, Jim, dead Jim, he's dead, Jim. But not as we know it. DeForest Kelly died on the 11th of June, 1999.

However, he lived long and prospered, very illogically, as the infamous Doctor Bones McCoy in Star Trek.

On This Day 18th January

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY 18th JANUARY

On This Day, the 18th of January 350, Magnentius, played by Sir Ian McKellen, opposite what-a-really-smooth-head Patrick-Make-It-So-Stewart, deposed the Roman Emperor Constans and proclaimed himself the new all-powerful Mutant Magnet Magnentius Emperor of Rome.

On This Day, 18th of January 532, in Constantinople, the tit-for-tat between the supporters of two teams of chariot racers (the Blues and the Greens) which escalated into The Nika Riots a week ago, finally came to an end.

For the last seven days, Constantinople had been plunged into chaos. Half the city was burned and destroyed, and thirty thousand people were killed.

Celebrity Birthday

On This Day, the 18th January 1955, American actor, direct, producer, singer, Kevin Costner was born.

He once built a baseball stadium for ghosts that was engulfed in water, along with the entire world, before protecting Whitney Houston from a killer as he delivered the post.

And we shouldn't forget that stint he did robbing from the rich to give to the poor, whilst not particularly bothering with an English accent.

On This Day 17th January

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY 17th January

 

On This Day, the 17th of January 1595, King Henry IV of France, the first king of the House of Bourbon, declared war on Spain.

 

Henry had been raised a protestant. When he became King of France in 1589, he was pretty much forced to convert to Catholicism, due to France being a catholic country, and them placing nipple clamps on him until he agreed.

 

Everyone was happy about the King's sudden and unexpected change of religion, except for the protestants. They were not. At all.

 

It also appeared that Spain wasn't happy. Mainly with Henry, who they didn't like as he didn't share any of his chocolate biscuits with them. Spain kept pestering Henry, who finally had enough and declared war. My biscuits. My lovely crème biscuits. You not get none of these fabulous Bourbon Crème Biscuits.

 

King Henry IV had many people try to kill him over the years. And not just the entirety of Spain. Pierre Barriere tried to assassinate him in August 1593. And then in December 1594 Jean Chatel tried. Both were unsuccessful.

 

It wasn't until the 14th of May 1610, when another assassin by the name of Francois Ravailla thought he'd have a go, that the King of France died. He was stabbed in the Rue de La Ferronnerie. Which, I believe, and I'm not great on anatomy, is the upper portion of the left butt cheek.

 

Celebrity Birthdays

 

On This Day, the 17th of January 1931, in Arkabutler, Mississippi, which happens to be a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, James Earl Jones was born.

 

James Earl Jones is well known for being the voice of Darth Vader in the mildly popular Star Wars movies. His parents were Shmi Skywalker and the Force itself. Or midichlorians. Or something like that.

 

James started out as a baby before progressing to be the most evil Jedi turned Sith in the whole galaxy. Although, to be factually correct, Darth Vader wasn't the most hated of evil monsters in Star Wars. That accolade went to George Lucas after he ruined the prequel trilogy.

 

 

On This Day, the 17th of January 1956, Paul Young was born.

 

Paul Young is, or at least was, an English singer. He hit the big time during the 1980s with hits including Love of the Common People and Every time You Go Away.

 

Having come from a place in England called Luton, he learned from a very early age not to pronounce the letter T in most words.

 

 

On This Day, the 17th of January 1986, Max Adler was born.

 

Max is best known for playing Dave Karofsky in the hit television series Glee.

 

Dave Karofsky is a school jock, who bullied other kids at the school until he realises he actually likes their little jocks.

On This Day In History - 17th June

On This Day In History - 17th June

 

17th June 1239, Edward I of England was born. He was King of England between 1272 and 1307, but most famous for his stonkingly long shanks. Hence why he is better known as Edward Longshanks.

 

17th June 1462, a battle known as The Night Attack of Targoviste took place between Vlad III of Wallachia and Mehmed II of the Ottoman Empire. Vlad attacked Mehmed during the night, gotta wonder how they came up with these names, and tried to assassinate him. Mehmed survived.

 

However, Mehmed survived and marched to Targovise, the Wallachian capital, preparing to destroy it. What they found when they arrived to meet up with the rest of their army was, shall we say, a shock.

 

There were 20,000 impaled Turks waiting for them. Let's get the ducks out of here. And they did. Pretty darned Quick.

 

I know what you're thinking: Vlad, that name rings a bell. Yep, it was Vlad the Impaler. Wonder how he got that name. But, Vlad is better known under another name - DRACULA.

 

I vant to dwink your blood.

 

17th June 1497 the Battle of Deptford Bridge took place at, can you guess, yep, Deptford bridge. It's south-east London, in case you were wondering.

 

It too place during the Cornish Rebellion when King Henry VII (one more to go before the interesting one) mustered an army of 25,000 men to put down the Cornish rabble.

 

As one of the defeated Cornishmen said, "They were slathered in this hot sauce, normally reserved for a nice sirloin steak. We never stood a blinking of a chance. They kept saying how bad we were at spelling, and maths, and how ugly were. It was nasty."

 

Now, that's what happens when you have mustered an army to put down some blokes who are rebelling. Hot sauce and insults.

 

Wait a minute. Put down. Oops, that's not insulting someone, is it? It's blinking killing them. And I'm assuming the covering of soldiers in mustard is wrong, too?

 

17th June 1682, King Charles XII of Sweden was born. He became the King of Sweden at the age of 15, and ruled for the next 21 years until he had an unfortunate encounter with a mysterious force.

 

Some say his death was the result of an enemy bullet on the battlefield. Sweden was at war with Denmark at the time, and Charles was in the middle of the fighting. Not a great place to be, but leading from the front is a sign of a true leader.

 

However, another theory exists that he was shot by one of his own men. Charles wasn't a popular kid and he could have been murdered by his own sister so she could take the throne, then pass it to her husband.

 

The third theory is the most plausible. Charles XII of Sweden was murdered by a ninja hedgehog out from revenge after Charles brutally murdered ninja hedgehog's brother in a duel of single wombat.

 

17th June 1885, The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor. We're not quite sure how it happened, but half way across the Atlantic, she jumped off the ship and swam the rest of the way.

 

She was pretty keen to get to America. Or, it was to get away from the French, who were giving the Statue of Liberty to America as a present.

 

17th June 1939, Eugen Weidmann became the last person in France to be publicly executed by guillotine.

 

Not actually the last person executed in this manner in France, though. All other guillotining was done in private. Because that's how civilised people did it. In the privacy of their own homes.

 

17th June 1944 Iceland declared their independence from Denmark.

 

Iceland now celebrates their Icelandic National Day every June 17th, so Happy National Day to all my Icelandic followers.

 

Iceland is famous for having the cave which contains the entrance to the Centre of the Earth, a heck of a journey, where all the dinosaurs live in secret.

 

17th June 1987, after the death of the last Dusky Seaside Sparrow.

 

Yet another species becomes extinct. Unless they are all hiding inside that cave with the dinosaurs, and Donald Trump's real hair.

 

Please leave a comment. Question of the Day: Which extinct species should we bring back?