Tuesday, 4 October 2016

History Fun Facts for October 4th


On this day in history in 23, the Chinese capital, Chang'an, was sacked by rebels during the peasant rebellion. Yes, the peasants were revolting. Unbathed and swearing a lot, they were truly revolting.
They captured Wang Mang, the Chinese Emperor, and, in no particular order, promptly killed and decapitated him.
On This Day In History in 1795, Napoleon Bonaparte caught a Whiff of Grapeshot, after a night of passion with his wife, who he insisted shouldn't bathe, and suppressed some armed counter-revolutionary rioters with cannon, and just a Whiff of Grapeshot.
On This Day In History in 1289, Louis X of France, who kissed a girl ten times and liked it, was born.
King Louis X of France, no relation to Malcolm, was called the Quarreller, the Headstrong, or Louis the Stubborn. Mostly by his wife, Margaret of Burgundy, whose face would be red with rage before the end.
Louis became King of France in 1305, and was also the King of Navarre and the Count of Champagne. Bet that last one came with some perks.
At the age of 16, Louis X was married to Margaret of Burgundy, who was a bit of a party animal. She diddled the fiddle with a lot of men. And the wives of her brothers-in-law. 
Louis got wind of her indiscretions by reading her twitter and Instagram and arrested her and the wives of his brothers, Charles and Philip. The three were tried and found guilty. Their lovers were all executed, and the women had their heads shaved, along with their legs and armpits, you-no-French-no-more, and sentenced to life imprisoned in Chateau Gaillard.
Margaret was strangled in prison.
Louis X enjoyed his tennis, which was his downfall. I've always said tennis was a dangerous sport.
After a rigorous game, he downed quite a few barrels of cooled wine, and died.
On This Day in 1550, Charles IX of Sweden was born.
King Charles IX of Sweden, call me Carl, ruled from 1604 until his death. Weirdly, he was not the ninth king of Sweden to be named Charles.
Nope, since the Kings of Sweden couldn't count, they took their numbering from a fictitious account of the History of Sweden. Thus, Charles IX, was not the ninth, he was actually the third.
On This Day in 1626, Richard Cromwell was born.
Richard Cromwell was the Lord Protector of England after his father, Oliver-Is-A-Git-Cromwell died in 1658.
Richard's father, Oliver-Wanted-Some-More, fought King Charles I of England during the English Civil Wars in the 1640s, and won. He then executed the King in an elaborate game of Head-Off.
Instead of taking the title of King of England, which parliament did offer him, Oliver Cromwell named himself Lord Protector instead.
One problem with the Monarchy, according to Oliver Cromwell, was the hereditary and divine right to rule. To combat that, his son succeeded Oliver to the throne. Oops, I mean, the position of Lord Protector.
Richard Cromwell, however, was not quite the ruler and politician his father, or parliament expected. Basically he was crap. So crap that within two years Parliament invited the King in Exile, soon to be King Charles II, back to England to be crowned.
Some kids are such a disappointment.
On This Day in History in 1874, John Ellis was born.
Nope, you probably don't recognise his name.
John Ellis was an Englishman who worked as a casual labourer and as a factory worker in and around Manchester, England. He also became a hairdresser and then opened a newsagent's shop.
He then had enough of the normal life and became an executioner.
Read More About John Ellis here (not if you have a sensitive disposition):

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