Saturday 13 February 2016

Robbie Williams and The Truth Behind The Song Titles

Robbie Williams: The Truth Behind The Song Titles

On This Day In History, the 13th of February, 1974, Robbie Williams was born. He was the worst member of the successful boy band Take That, before he left to forage for berries in the local woods.
 
He soon found some, and had to wrestle a squirrel for its stash. Before he could eat them, a worm drop kicked his posterior into a deep hole and slapped him around, leaving him for dead. It was during the void between life and death that Robbie Williams had an epiphany. He should start a solo career as a singer.
 
Without his fellow Take That boyband mates, Robbie finally had the Freedom to get Old Before I die. However, his Life Thru a Lens brought problems in his personal life. That's what happens when Angels go South Of The Border with One Of God's Better People.
 
It was a different pace to his Lazy Days in that hole with the worm, which had repeatedly tickled his Baby Girl Window. But Robbie was Strong and had No Regrets. He took a phrase uttered over and over by the worm as it massaged his Jesus In A Camper Van, and turned it into a hit song, "Let Me Entertain You."
 
He rose like a Phoenix From The Flames. And, with the Grace of a drunk butterfly on speed, he realised he should be a Better Man when it came to love making. He ditched all food and went on a diet of Let Love Be Your Energy.
 
He needed a lot of loving to get that energy. Robbie was a busy Man Machine. There was only one thing he could do, By All Means Necessary, no matter How Peculiar it would Feel, he'd find that worm and prove She's The One.
 
In his last conversation before Robbie was killed by a Starstruck Deceptacon, he was warned by his arch enemy, Gary Barlow.
 
Gary Barlow, "Stand Your Ground."
Robbie Williams, "But I need to Love Somebody."
Gary Barlow, "You're just Sexed Up."
Robbie Williams, "Our love making is Something Beautiful."
Gary Barlow, "Yes, but If It's Hurting You, use Hot Fudge."
Robbie Williams, "You Know Me too well.
Gary Barlow, "Well, yes, Getting Morning Sun is Difficult For Weirdos."

1 comment:

Edna Garrett said...

I still think that Take That made Robbie Williams a top singer. It's now popular to get back in past and take a good look at the singles we all used to love. For that reason Take That tour dates are a reality of our present again. Feel free to book your ticket to the past!