Showing posts with label fun news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun news. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 November 2016

Stranger News: Chicken becomes Chief of Police

Stranger News: Chicken becomes Chief of Police

As strange as it sounds, a Rooster in Japan became the chief of police in September due to his popularity and death-defying skills.
 
The chicken, who now has a name, Masahiro, defied death three times and, as such, shot into the Osaka residents' hearts, becoming a local celebrity.

No stranger than those who go on reality shows and become famous. At the least the chicken actually has personality and skill.
 
Masahiro was down to be fed to raccoons at Tennoji Zoo in Osaka, Japan. It seems, those racoons can't get enough of deep-fried chicken. The local KFC is often frequented by them at the end of a night partying.
 
However, Masahiro was spared the trauma of being rolled in the special flour and fried to a nice crispy shine. A duckling who had no parents required a foster father. If only the badgers didn't like crispy duck so much, the duckling could have been raised by its real parents.
 
Nope, the ducklings parents were not cooked up by the local Chinese takeaway and fed to the badgers. The duckling was born through artificial hatching.
 
The zoo needed the help of the chicken because, as we all know, ducks learn how to eat from their parents. Masahiro was recruited to teach the little duckling how to feed. He was also taught how to Riverdance, do quadratic equations, and Karate.
 
Becoming a surrogate father to the duckling bought Masahiro some time.
 
But not much.
 
Once the duckling achieved his black belt, and how to eat, Masahiro was re-allocated to another task.
 
The zoo was having an issue with wild weasels attacking other birds. But the zoo officials didn't want Masahiro to Karate those weasels, he was put there to attract the weasels as food bait.
 
Luckily for Masahiro, the weasels didn't turn up for three days, and he was spared, once again.
 
But was he third time unlucky?
 
Nope, third time's a charm.
 
Masahiro was allocated as dinner for the lions and tigers. And again, his life was spared.
 
An official at the Tennoji Zoo said, "his turn never came."

Much to the disappointment of the lions.
 
After avoiding death thrice, the staff at the zoo believed there must be something special about the chicken. They took his name off the dinner menu and since that day, Masahiro became an attraction at the zoo in his own right.
 
Visitors to the zoo now have their photos taken with Masahiro, who hold the chicken and rub it for luck.
 
And yet when I stroke the chicken in public, I get arrested. Seems a bit unfair.
 
Becoming a local celebrity prompted the Osaka police force to promote Masahiro to Chief of the Osaka Prefectural Police's highway patrol unit last month.

In his first hour, the new Chief of Police drove a police car, rode in the police helicopter, taking over the controls, and shouting, "Chickens can fly," before getting involved in a shoot out at a bank robbery.

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Stranger News: Lord Heseltine brutally murdered his dog and over 350 squirrels.

Stranger News: Lord Heseltine brutally murdered his dog and over 350 squirrels.

Well, maybe not the dog, but the squirrels, yep, he massacred those little, grey feckers.
 
For some reason, unknown to virtually everyone, Lord Heseltine, the former Conservative Deputy Prime Minister of Britain, has been in the news today for strangling his pet dog.
 
Heseltine told Tatler magazine, and god only knows why, that his mother's pet dog, an Alsatian called Kim, had a mental breakdown, so he grabbed its choker chain and pulled it tight until he went limp. We assume he means the dog went limp, not him.
 
Various news broadcasts and social media immediately jumped on the non-existent bandwagon, with headlines purporting that Heseltine killed his mother's dog.
 
Lord Heseltine came back and explained they were a bunch of morons and it was a terrible misrepresentation of what actually happened.
 
This story gets a little stranger, as this incident didn't happen today, or yesterday, or this week. It happened back in 1964.
 
Lord Heseltine told BBC Radio 4, that he had been looking after Kim, his mother's dog, back in 1964. It developed a problem with its paw, so he bent down to help. It was then that "the dog flew at me, on its hind legs."
 
The dog reacted to Heseltine's help by biting him.
 
Heseltine told the magazine in his interview, "I immediately got out of my chair. There was a certain amount of blood, as he was biting my wrists. I shouted to my wife to get out of the room, as she was heavily pregnant at the time. I managed to catch the choker chain that was around his neck and, twisting that, obviously got a grip on the dog."
 
He went on to add: "It probably wasn't more than 15 seconds, he went quite limp and reverted to being the dog we all knew a loved."
 
So, the stories circulating today about Lord Heseltine strangling his dog dead are completely false.
 
However, being left with a "most awful dilemma", Heseltine had no choice.
 
The dog had to die. Even if it had reverted back to the dog he knew and loved.
 
But the death would not come by his own hands. He wasn't a dog killer, after all.
 
The following day he took it to the vet and had Kim put down. Someone else did the dirty work.
 
However, he had experienced, even if by proxy, the thrill of the kill. And there's only one way you can quench that thirst for blood. Orchestrate a squirrel massacre.
 
Earlier this month, according to BBC News, Lord Heseltine revealed he had shot 350 grey squirrels at his home in Northamptonshire.
 
At a guess, I'm guessing he lured them into his kitchen, one by one, and shouted, "Surprise, Mother Tucker," and blew their heads off with a shotgun.
 
He then mounted each of the squirrels on the wall of his study.
 
Rumours that he spends nights re-enacting his glory days in parliament with the squirrels are unconfirmed.

Sunday, 30 October 2016

Stranger News: Church angry at German Men taking the piss

ALSO IN THE NEWS: CHURCH ANGRY AT GERMAN MEN TAKING THE PISS

Ulm Minster, in Germany, which has the world's largest church tower, is having a problem with men spending a penny on the church.
 
The urine is destroying the stone base and the fear is that the church may collapse in the future if men continue to syphon the python on the structure.
 
As a punishment for blokes taking a leak the Pee-Police have doubled the fine for those caught to 100 euros.
 
However it seems to have made little difference.
 
Michael Hilbert, head of the department that maintains the building, and a semi-professional peepeeping Tom, said, "I've been keeping an eye on it for half a year now and, once again, it's coated with urine and vomit."
 


HISTORICAL FUN: On This Day In History Humorous Facts for October 29th

Kite Fun

Check out: Fun Facts About Kites and how to make your own homemade kite

Saturday, 22 October 2016

Stranger News: Gorilla Escaped London Zoo

Stranger News: Gorilla Escapes London Zoo
 
Kambuka, a 29 stone sliverback gorilla, escaped from his enclouse at London Zoo on October 13th, 2016, in a daring prison break.
 
The gorilla didn't need to break any doors, or bend prison bars, or smash through hardened glass. Nope. The doors to his enclosure were left unlocked.
 
Kambuka took a chance and opened the doors, making a bolt for it. He made it all the way to a secure keepers' area, where he encountered a rather surprised keeper who, after a brief discussion, left to get the gun.
 
Kambuka took the opportunity to down five litres of undiluted blackcurrant juice.
 
Shortly afterwards, the gorilla was tranquilised and then returned to his enclosure.
 
Now that's a lot of undiluted blackcurrant squash.
 
I can only ever manage about one litre. On one occasion, I managed two litres of undiluted blackcurrant juice.
 
And, yes, after that, they had to tranquilise me as well.