Tuesday, 26 January 2016

On This Day In History 26th January

Humorous History Presents:

On This Day in 1992, Boris Yeltsin, the Russian President, and, despite being totally bonkers-mad-nutso, or maybe because he was, was actually a lot of fun at parties, announced Russia would cease targeting the United States of America with its nuclear weapons.
As a child, Yeltsin lost a thumb and index finger on his left hand whilst playing with a hand grenade. Pretty sure there's a lesson to be learned there, kids. Probably shouldn't mess around with hand grenades.
It was only later in life he lost his marbles.
Boris Yeltsin is not only famed for being a leading figure in the downfall of the USSR, but also for being slightly intoxicated most of the time. Okay, who are we kidding? He enjoyed his drink. In fact, he couldn't get enough of it. Many a time, on international visits, he was as drunk as a skunk.
There was an incident in 1992 in Kyrgyzstan when Yeltsin got smashed out of his skull, then began playing the spoons on the President of Kyrgyzstan's bald head.
Not as bad as when he was in Washington, staying at Blair House, the White House's official guest house. In 1995, he escaped his security and made it onto Pennsylvania Avenue.
Yeah, not too bad, I suppose. But, he was only wearing his underwear.
The Secret Service caught him staggering around the street drunk trying to hail a taxi so he could grab some pizza.
On This Day in 1998, President Bill Clinton, of the United States of-I-Did-Not-Have-Sexual-Relations-With-That-Woman, went on national television to announce he definitely, no way, didn't dangle any of his dingles in his former intern's sandpit.
He's the President, and a thoroughly nice guy, I'm sure it was later proved he didn't have any sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, former White House intern.
If the dress don't fit. You must be kidding?  He was wearing the actual dress he jiggied the intern with on national television. Sheesh, what an amateur.
Celebrity Birthday
On This Day in 1958, Ellen De|Generes was born.
Most know Ellen for her television show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and as the nicest person on television. However, she once chased a girl scout, who was merely trying to sell some Girl Scout cookies, down the road, in her car, before running her over. Several dozen times.
When asked about the incident, Ellen merely said, "The Girl Scout told me she was out of cookies. But I knew she had some left. Kid shouldn't tell fibs. It's just not plum."

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