Thursday, 14 January 2016

On This Day In History - 14th January


On This Day, 14th of January 1724, King Philip V of Spain abdicated his throne. His son, Louis, took over as King, although he didn't last long. Seven months later, and Louis was dead, leaving no heirs, and Philip re-king'd himself.
There are many rumours about Philip's abdication. And his mental instability. Some believe he had no choice but to give up the throne to his son, as his wife, the manipulative Elisabeth of Parma, and the seagulls at his bedroom window, told him to let his son be king. And to dance nekkid in the garden wearing a mask made out of a unicorn's head.
Others believe he abdicated the throne of Spain so he could ascend to the throne of France after Louis XV died. Philip was the grandson of King Louis XIV of France and so had a legitimate claim. But there was a law in place in France that meant any reigning King of Spain couldn't sit on the throne of France.
So, by abdicating one kingship, he thought he'd sneak under the radar into another. Sneaky sneaker.
But this didn't happen. Before Louis XV died, Philip's son died. So Philip had to settle for the Spanish throne. Again.
Celebrity Birthdays
On This Day, the 14th of January 1988, Jack P. Shepherd was born.
Jack P-Is-For-Pterodactyl Shepherd is well known in the United Kingdom for playing David Platt, son of the pterodactyl-nosed Gail Platt in the long-running television soap, Coronation Street.
Jack has won numerous awards, including "Best Bad Boy" at the Inside Soap Awards, and "Best Villain" in the British Soap Awards. He also won the very prestigious "Looks-Like-He's-Been-Hit-In-The-Face-By-A-Spade" Award and the "Probably-Does-It-Dirty-With-A-Hippo" Award.
His onscreen antics include almost being murdered by his evil step-dad, sending his family cards from the now-dead serial killer, faking his own suicide to ruin his sister's wedding, and falling madly and deeply in love with the underside of a hippo with Diarrhoea. Sheesh, just kill her all ready, she's so annoying.
On This Day, the 14th of January 1969, Jason Bateman was born.
Jason is an American actor who was once a werewolf as a teenager, and then got a full body wax, which included back, sack and crack. After that he was able to get normal roles playing relatively normal people.
In the early years of his career, both Jason, and his older sister, Justine, were forced to hand over their pay checks to their father, who had lost all of his own earnings on building a hedgehog prostitution business. Who knew that wouldn't be a success?
After Jason dissolved both the Hedgehog Hookers Club, and his own business relationship with his father, he was able to keep the cash himself and used the now-traumatised hedgehogs in an anal acupuncture therapy business.
He tested the therapy sessions on himself, which, for some reason didn't go well. It may explain why he turned to booze and drugs for over a decade. That's how long it takes to recover from being impaled up your bottom by a dozen hedgehogs.
Jason Bateman, middle name Kent, started his career in a commercial for Golden Grahams, nothing to do with those Golden Grahams, it's actually a breakfast cereal. His first break into television was on the Little House on the Prairie, as a little girl running down a hill. Or was it James Cooper, that orphaned boy who was rescued by the angel on the highway?
Bateman went through numerous television roles during the 80s, including appearing in Knight Rider, Silver Spoons, and It's Your Move. In fact he became a bit of a teen heartthrob. He'll never be Chris Hemsworth, though.
His bigger break came when he decided to stop waxing and was cast as Michael J. Fox's castoff in Teen Wolf Too. It didn't go well. The movie was a complete failure and Bateman took years to recover from the reality show that had been his life.
Back to television work for him.
Bateman was cast as Michael Bluth in Arrested Development, a US comedy series about something, blah, blah. I keep forgetting to catch up with that on Netflix. Maybe I'll look at it at the weekend. Anyway, Jason did good, it would seem. He won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Emmy.
But, television isn't where Jason's heart is, or the cash. Back to movies.
Some went well, and some didn't. For instance, Dodgeball was complete carp-on-a-stick. However, although most hate the movie Hancock, I really enjoyed it. Bateman did well. And he got to kiss Charlize Theron.
He also played opposite Jennifer Aniston in The Switch and Jennifer Anniston in Horrible Bosses, and also in Horrible Bosses 2. And he played opposite ... wait does he pick movies based on which sexy blond he gets to snog?
What a dog.

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