Tuesday, 22 March 2016

On This Day Facts March 22nd


On this day in history in 1322, Thomas, Earl of Lancaster, and Earl of Leicester, and Earl of Derby, and Earl of Lincoln, and Earl of Salisbury, died as a result of a serious case of Off-With-His-Head.
Thomas, Earl of Lancaster, was also Baron of Halton, and Lord of Bowland. Yep, he had quite a collection of Earldoms and Lordships. He was also the cousin of King Edward II.
All families have their problems. I have a cousin I don't particularly like. And although Lancaster's relationship with his Kingly cousin started off okay, it went downhill fast.
In no small part to the Earl of Lancaster rebelling against the rule of the King of England. Lancaster preferred to ally himself with the King of Scotland instead.
Lancaster would learn the hard way that you shouldn't vex the King of England. His rebellions failed. He was captured. Torture was also involved. Something to do with pokers and bottoms. But that's just a youtube fail. If you're out on your last night of freedom, don't somersault over a wall when you're drunk and nekkid.
He was put on trial for crimes against hedgehogs. And treason.
Thomas, Earl of Lancaster, and other Earldoms, and winner of the inaugural tiddlywinks championships, was not allowed to speak at his own trial. They basically duct-taped his mouth shut. They were taking no chances with him.
The trial was a mere formality. He was going to be found guilty no matter what.
But, luckily for him, the King took pity on his cousin.
Nope, not that much pity.
The dude was still going to die.
But, because of his royal blood, his blood wouldn't be spilled. Well, as much as it could have been spilled. King Edward II decided to downgrade his execution to a simple Off-With-His-head.
The sentence imposed on Thomas, Earl of Lancaster, had been the Full-Monty: Drawn, Quartered, and Beheaded.
Also in the news ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY
On this day in history in 1913, Sung Chiao-jen, or Song Jiaoren, founder of the Chinese Nationalist Party, died as a result of wounds from an assassination attempt two days earlier.
Sung Chiao-jen was out and about with some mates, probably not on an all-night bender doing the famous local pub-crawl, when he was accosted by a lone gunman at Shanghai railway station.
Sung Chiao-jen was shot twice in the chest at close range by a shadowy figure called Wu. It is thought he was contracted to kill Sung Chiao-jen by a Shanghai underworld boss called Ying Guixin.
That's what happens when you don't pay your bar tab.
The evidence led to other conspirators, but there was never a trial. Probably totally unrelated, but all those implicated were either assassinated or just plain vanished.
Yep, alien abductions. That was my first thought as well.
On this day in history in 1989, Clint Malarchuk found out ice-skating is a really dangerous past time.
As he was playing with the Buffalo Sabres, he was run over by another player's skate. It accidently slit his throat. Don't worry, it wasn't fatal. But it did ruin the ice for a few months.
On this day in history in 1997, the comet Hale-Bopp, made its closest approach to Earth. And some astronomers, who were crazy people, observed it was being followed by an alien spacecraft.

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