Friday, 13 March 2015

5 Fun Facts About Noses

1. The nose isn't just to look pretty on your face and to keep your tongue from being able to lick your eyeballs, it does a lot more. For starters, it helps you to breathe. And breathing is good. And breathing through your nose at night is even better as it keeps you from snoring. Sleepers who snore generally have a problem with tiny pixies who crawl into their noses when they're asleep for a song and dance, and a game of Lick-Your-Boogers. It gets crowded in there with all those pixies, and your nostrils get restricted, forcing you to breathe through your mouth instead. And, at night, it's the sound of air smacking into the back of your mouth, along with the high-pitched singing of the pixie-booger-party, that causes you to snore. 

2. For better or worse, your nose allows you to smell. From the lovely aroma of bacon sandwiches, to the foul, disgusting stench of oranges. And although we can pick up a wide range of smells and stinks, around 10,000 different scents, we have a pretty poor sense of smell compared to most other animals. A dog, for instance, can detect smells 1000 times better than a human. It does, however, have a questionable sense of taste. Yep, talking of licking another dog's food expulsion hatch. That is disgusting. Almost as disgusting as eating an orange.

3. Your nose has an intruder alert defence in the form of sneezing, which is why you shouldn't be afraid of hedgehogs crawling up your nose when you're sunbathing in the park. At the first whiff of an irritant your nose will react and sneeze that spikey ninja at anywhere between 35 and 100mph, and to a distance of between 5 and 30 feet away. So, always cover your nose when you sneeze. You can do some serious harm to someone if they are hit by a super-sonic, nose-ejected hedgehog.

4. At least one of the following facts is true, the rest are just myths:
a) If you pick your nose, your eyes will fall out, bounce down the street, jump down a drain, and implant themselves into one of the camels living in the sewers. 
b) After you sneeze, if someone doesn't say, "Bless You," your soul escapes from your body and plays hopscotch with zombies in the local graveyard.
c) The day after you get your nose pierced, the intelligence agencies are able to pick up your thoughts via a satellite that transmits the information to an alien civilization living on Mars.
d) Men's noses are generally bigger than women's noses.
e) In an average lifetime, a person will grown seven hundred miles of nose hair.
f) The groove from your nose to your upper lip is called the philtrum. 
h) It is impossible to balance more than one Malteser on your philtrum.

Oh, who are we kidding, all those facts are true.

5. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer got his red nose due to an unfortunate accident involving Santa, a vacuum cleaner, and a large oak door that Santa put a spell on to capture peeping-toms.

Today's post was inspired by the fact it's Comic Relief (Red Nose Day) in the UK today. To find out more information on the charity and how it raises and spends donations, and to give a donation yourself, please visit the Comic Relief website:

No comments: