On This Day In History - February 28th

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - FEBRUARY 28th

On This Day in 628, Khosrau II, the last King of Persia to have anything like a decent length reign, was executed. To death. Yes, all the way.

 

His execution came by way of his son, Mihr Hormozd, who had become annoyed with his dad when he wasn't allowed to stay up late and play on his PlayStation.

 

Although really miffed with his father, Mihr Hormozd killed the King under the orders of Kavadh II, who had just recently invaded and taken control of the Sasanian Empire.

 

On This Day in 1525, Cuauhtémoc, the last Aztec King, if only for a year, was executed by the Spanish Conquistador, Hernan Cortes.

 

Cortes had invaded with his Spanish army in the hope of finding some gold. Or a decent cigar. Or semi-decent massage parlour.

 

He deposed or killed all the kings in and around Mexico, and anyone he met on his way, and those left were just kings-in-name-only.

 

Cortes was out walking through the jungle one night, perhaps as part of an expedition, perhaps as part of a mating ritual with the local gorilla population, who knows.

 

He saw King-Now-A-Hostage Cuauhtémoc having a laugh with two of his fellow former-kingies. It seems the famous Spanish Explorer and Conqueror, Herman Cortes, didn't like laughter.

 

After asking a bloke to translate what the three were discussing - apparently it was something to with comparing Breaking Bad with Game of Thrones - Cortes got upset at their conclusion.

 

He immediately ordered all three to be hanged. To Death. All the way. Cortes then invented a story to tell the locals. It involved a boy wizard, a special school in Scotland, and the ginger kid getting the girl.

 

When the locals wouldn't believe that story - no way the ginger kid gets the girl - Cortes made up another.

 

He informed them that the three kings were plotting his murder. Mwerder. To Death. All the way. And because of this plot, Cortes had no choice but to execute them all.

 

And anyone else who plots his Mwerder. So just you lot all watch yourself. Mwerderers.

 

Also ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

On This Day in 1883, the first vaudeville theatre opened in Boston.

 

On This Day in 1897, Queen Ranavalona III, the last monarch of the kingdom of Madagascar, was deposed by a French military force.

 

The Queen tried everything in her power to stop the French invading, including making trade deals with both the United Kingdom and the United States of America. She thought they'd come over and help save the singing and dancing wildlife which featured so heavily in the movie.

 

Neither the UK or the USA seemed that bothered and let the French do whatever they liked. And so, those pesky French invaders invaded the Kingdom of Madagascar and deposed its monarch.

 

She didn't really suffer. Even though her people did. Despite killing their own King, the French still had a liking for monarchs, although they'd never admit it.

 

The French treated Queen Ranavalona very well, giving her an allowance, house, staff, and even shopping trips to Paris to buy new clothes.

 

Sheesh. Wish I'd get invaded.

 

On This Day in 1940, Basketball was shown on television for the first time ever when Fordham University played the University of Pittsburgh at Madison Square Garden.

 

On This Day in 1983, a little shy of 106 million people tuned in to watch the final episode of M*A*S*H. It hold the record for the highest viewership of any season finale.

 

On This Day in 1986, Olof Palme, the Prime Minister of Sweden, was assassinated in Stockholm.

 

On This Day in 1991, the first Gulf War ends.

 

Bonus Round

 

On This Day in 1155, Henry the Young King, son of King Henry II of England, was born.

 

Henry the Young King was the only titular king of England. He was crowned King of England whilst his father, Henry II, was still alive. And Henry the Young King never reigned, dying before his father.

 

In fact, dying whilst trying to overthrow his father. The little git.

 

In the summer of 83, that's 1183, whilst he was 28 years old, and leading a campaign in Limousin against his father, the King, and his brother Richard, the next king, he died of poops-a-lot.

 

He died of dysentery on the 11th of June 1183, not long after completing a pillaging of the local monasteries. When it became clear kicking-the-bucket was inevitable, he asked for confession and the last rites.

 

As part of his penitence, he prostrated himself naked nekkid on the floor in front of a crucifix ... and several dozen hedgehogs with camcorders. The footage later found its way onto the Fail Army Youtube channel.

 

What is your favourite fail from youtube? Post in the comments below.