Historical Fun

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY for the 13th of JANUARY On This Day, the 13th of January 1990, Liam Hemsworth was born. Liam is an Australian actor best known for having a much hotter older brother. Yep, Chris Hemsworth, also known as Thor. You know, I'm not gay, but I'd totally suck his.... Liam started out his career, like most Australian actors, in the television show Neighbours. Everybody needs good neighbours. He then went on to star in the Elephant Princess, as an elephant with a tiny trunk, who happened to also be a princess, with a much sexier older brother who happens to be a demi-god. Oh, yeah, is he a demi-god, or what. Very tasty. But then stardom hit. Liam's brother got the role of Thor. Seriously have to watch that movie again. He is such a hunk. Err, anyways, Liam, the lesser beefcake, played Gale Hawthorne in the Hunger Games movies. Also in the News : On This Day, 13th of January 1547, Henry Howard, the Earl of Surrey was sentenced to death b...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY for the 12th of JANUARY   On This Day, 12th of January 1993, Zayn Malik was born. Yes, Happy Birthday to Zayne formerly of the hit band One Direction.   Zayne Malik is famous for being afraid of heights, open water, hedgehogs and eyes.   When poor little Zayn was younger, he spent some nervous time wading in the water as a shark circled.   Lucky for him, Zayn suffered from smelly-feet-pongs. It's a terrible and embarrassing condition doctors have never been able to cure.   The shark was so put off by the smelly-feet-pongs, that it decided to stay away. However, a few minutes later, he was kidnapped by aliens. On board the alien star ship, Zayn was forced to stare at the letter "i" for hours on end whilst balancing on a hedgehog on top of a ladder.   This all added to his long list of phobias, which also include being a member of a best-selling boy band. He stays away from open...

On This Day In History for the 11th of January   On This Day, 11th of January 347, Theodosius, also known as Theodosius the Great , or Cute-Squirrel-Lips by his Praetorian Guard, was born.   Theodosius would become Emperor of the entire Roman Empire in 379 AD, the last Emperor to rule over the whole thing.   Theodosius-Cute-Squirrel-Lips had a serious problem with the Goths and set about trying to eradicate them. Perhaps they reminded him of his own moody teenage years. Unfortunately, his reputation took a serious hit, along with his gonads, a war injury he would never recover from, as he wasn't successful in destroying them, or the other barbarians, or One Direction.   Theodosius-Now-Speaks-In-High-Pitched-Voice had a problem, not only with his dangles, but also with pagan rituals. Mainly down to him not being able to perform some of them because of his now-deformed Julius Caesars. He banned a lot of the pagan rituals, i...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 10th of JANUARY   On This Day, the 10th of January 49BC, Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon (with a Zombie army), plunging Rome into civil war (over a serious shortage of moisturiser).   Back in the day, it was illegal for Roman Generals to cross the Rubicon and enter Italy with a standing army. Or even a sitting one. Or a kneeling one. And, it seems, even a Zombie one.   After Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and entered Italy with his army, the phrase 'Crossing the Rubicon' came to mean 'Point of no return   Also in the News:   On This Day, 10th January, 1645 William Laud , the Archbishop of Canterbury had a serious case of Off-With-His-Head, after stealing candy from a baby.   Apart from the serious charge of stealing candy from a baby, William Laud was also found guilty of lesser charges such as treason. It took fifteen years, after the Restoration of the Monarchy in England, before ...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 8th of JANUARY   On This Day, 8th of January, 1941, Lieutenant General Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell, or Sheesh-You've-Got-A-Long-Name to his friends, died. Baden-Powell is famous for being the founder of the Scout Movement, of which millions of boys, and now girls, are members. So, if girls are allowed in the Cubs and Scouts, how come boys aren't allowed to join the Girl Guides or Brownies? Seems a bit unfair.   When Baden-Powell got married, his wife asked: Why is there a bucket of water beside the bed?   Baden-Powell replied: A young man beset by impure thoughts should drive them away by plunging his "racial organ" into icy water.   His wife looked at the bucket, and then at him, standing all in his nekkid-ness, and whispered, "We're gonna need a bigger bucket."     Also in the news:   On This Day, the 8th of January, 1815 , Andrew Jackson, future President of them-there-here-there U...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY - 5th JANUARY   On This Day, the 5th of January, 1066, Edward-The-Confessor died, sparking what could mildly be called a succession crisis. This little itsy-bitty crisis eventually led to the Norman Conquest of England, where William-The-Conker-Player dictated every new baby be called Norman.   Edward the Confessor was born as a baby in 1003ish in Oxfordshire, England. His father was Ethelred the Unready, which was his excuse to his wife on their wedding night. "I wasn't ready. Can we try again in ten minutes?"   Edward the Confessor was called The Confessor because he ran a series of experiments on hedgehogs trying to extract confessions from them using nipple clamps.   Or maybe because he is said to have lived a porpoise and saintly life. Although what dolphins have to do with anything, I don't know. Oh, wait ... pious. He lived a pious life.   Also in the news:   On This Day, 5th of January,...

On This Day In History - December 28th   On this day in 1065, Westminster Abbey was concentrated, copulated, discombobulated, err, nope, they don't sound right. Oh, I mean consecrated. Yes, consecrated. It's when two lovers decided they had done every other room in the house, so might as well do it here, too.   That's what consecrated means, right?   Err, it might actually mean to make something sacred and to dedicate something formally to a religious purpose.   Anyways, every coronation of a king or queen in England has been held at Westminster Abbey since that day. King Edward-The-Confessor, called that because he liked to hear people confess before he shot them in the head with a AK-47, had started the process of the Abbey being consecrated, but had fallen ill and couldn't attend the love-making ceremony on the day. He died a week later, looking at porn on the internet instead. He was the first king to be buried at the Abbey.