On This Day 11th January

On This Day In History for the 11th of January

 

On This Day, 11th of January 347, Theodosius, also known as Theodosius the Great, or Cute-Squirrel-Lips by his Praetorian Guard, was born.

 

Theodosius would become Emperor of the entire Roman Empire in 379 AD, the last Emperor to rule over the whole thing.

 

Theodosius-Cute-Squirrel-Lips had a serious problem with the Goths and set about trying to eradicate them. Perhaps they reminded him of his own moody teenage years. Unfortunately, his reputation took a serious hit, along with his gonads, a war injury he would never recover from, as he wasn't successful in destroying them, or the other barbarians, or One Direction.

 

Theodosius-Now-Speaks-In-High-Pitched-Voice had a problem, not only with his dangles, but also with pagan rituals. Mainly down to him not being able to perform some of them because of his now-deformed Julius Caesars. He banned a lot of the pagan rituals, including the Olympic Games, which wouldn't be restored until 1896.

 

Also in the News:

 

On This Day, 11th of January 532, in Constantinople, a slight tiff between the supporters of two teams of chariot racers (the Blues and the Greens) escalated into The Nika Riots.

 

The Nika Riots started at the chariot race when one team, the Blues, threw an insult at the lead racer for the Greens. "He has a tiny whip" turned into a full blown riot lasting over a week and plunging Constantinople into chaos. Half the city was burned and destroyed, and thirty thousand people were killed.

 

And you thought football fans were bad.