Monday, 26 October 2015


Image result for george iiiON THIS DAY IN HISTORY FACTS -- 26th OCTOBER
On the 26th of October, 1775, King George III of Great Britain, the nutso-crazy-bonkers king, went before the British Parliament and declared the American colonies in rebellion, authorizing a military response to destroy the American Revolution.
Not if being crazy, nutso, bonkers and declaring war on the Colony were connected, but it's possible.
Image result for benjamin franklin
On the 26th of October, 1776, Benjamin Franklin left for a nice holiday in France. Not, of course, to try and get French support for the American Revolution. He just liked croissants and frogs legs. Also, the wine. Oh, boy, did he like the wine.
On the 26th of October, 1881, in a little place called Tombstone in Arizona, the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral raged, killing three ducks and a turkey.
Image result for house of lordsOn the 26th of October, 1999, Britain's House of Lords voted to end the right of hereditary peers to vote in Parliament. It was around the same time the smell of urine disappeared from the House of Lords. Not sure if that's a coincidence.


On the 27th of October, 939, Ethelstan, who most modern day historians acknowledge as the first King of England, died.
Image result for teddy bears killedOn the 27th October, 1858, Theodore Roosevelt was born. He would later become an American Colonel and, of course, the 26th President of the United States of America.
But his most famous achievement was winning the costly war of the Cuddly Toy Revolution. It's an almost forgotten part of American history. Started by a small fluffy bear, the war escalated until Theodore Roosevelt took direct control of the American forces and utterly destroyed the Cuddly Toy Revolution, which led to the subjugation of all cuddly toys from them until all of eternity.
The cuddly teddy bears didn't count on the courage of Theodore Roosevelt, and his ability to venture into the woods in disguise. And, although Roosevelt got a surprise when he went down to the woods that day, he composed himself and massacred every last bear whilst they were eating quiche.
Thus, after that frightful and terrifying day, Roosevelt, as a badge of honour, was forever known as Teddy Roosevelt.

Image result for congressOn the 28th of October, 1919, the United States Congress, in their infinite wisdom, passed the Volstead Act, even though the American President, Woodrow Wilson, vetoed it.
This act paved the way for Prohibition to begin the following January. Of course, for those who don't know, Prohibition was the banning of Alcohol. Not a great day for, well, pretty much everyone. Because, as everyone knows, the three things humans need for survival and sanity are Alcohol, Bacon, and a decent WiFi signal.
Image result for pope chairOn the 28th of October, 1958, John XXIII was elected Pope of the Planet Earth.
Legend has it, that when a Pope is elected, he has to sit on a chair which has a hole in the centre, whilst wearing no under-crackers, so that his testicles dangle through the hole. The Cardinals then have to look up as he is carried through the hall to check they do, in fact, dangle.
This is due to the unfortunate election of Pope Joan, a woman, as Pope a thousand years ago, who went undiscovered until she gave birth to a child. Soon after, she was stoned to death in the streets, and forever after, the newly elected Pope must prove he has dingily-dangilies.


Coming soon. Probably the 29th of October. Yep, that sounds right.

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