Sunday, 25 January 2015

5 Facts You May Not Know About Babies

1. They poop. Yes, they do. In fact, they poop a lot. And it's nasty and slimy and smelly and, if you suspect your baby has just pooped, get the hell out of there. Dump the baby on your partner and run to the shops for something. Anything. Just get the hell out of there. Fast!

2. They pee. Oh, yes, they pee, a lot. On average, they pee every 20 minutes. And boys can time their peeing to the exact moment you remove their nappy/diaper to check if they have peed yet. Then pee right in your face.

3. They cry. Sometimes it's for something serious, such as being hungry, because most people cry when they're hungry and there's no food. It's perfectly normal. It is, right? It's not just me? Other times, they cry because they need a burp. Some babies can actually recite the entire alphabet with a burp.

4. They have no kneecaps for the first six months. It's just cartilage that looks like them.

5. Oh, my goodness, look how cute and squidgy they are. Hello, little baby, Goo-Goo Ga-Ga. Peek-A-Boo. Waa-Woo Waa-Woo. Arooooga. Yep, babies think you're nuts when you do that.

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