Wednesday, 9 October 2013

She Swallowed A Fly!


We knew this day would come. It was the only logical progression. This old woman started by swallowing the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I was sure she'd die. But she didn't. She decided the only way forward was to swallow a spider. It wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, why oh why did she swallow that fly? How did she not die?

Of course from there it gets weird. She swallowed a bird, which sounds absurd, but she did nonetheless. She saw a bat, and said, "Not that." And instead swallowed a cat. Fancy that, yes, she swallowed a cat. She did this to catch the bird, which was absurd, and swallowed the bird to catch the spider. Such a stupid woman to swallow a spider, as it wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. She must've been high when she swallowed the fly. She didn't die.

Oh my god, she swallowed a dog. What a hog, she swallowed a dog. Not a small one either. She swallowed the dog to catch the cat. She swallowed the cat to catch the bird and swallowed the bird to catch the spider. It wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. And the spider was swallowed, according to reports by a witness, to catch the fly. How sick have you got to be to swallow a fly? Why did she not die?

She swallowed a goat! It went straight down her throat. It wasn't enough, though. Which is why she swallowed a cow. Wow! She swallowed a cow!

She swallowed a cow, wow, a cow, to catch the goat, which went down her throat, to catch the dog, not a hog, to catch the cat, fancy that, she swallowed a cat. She swallowed the cat to catch the spider, which wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.

Why? Why did she swallow that fly?

Then, after some considerable consideration she swallowed a horse.

She died, of course.

1 comment:

Kyla Houbolt said...

Oh, well played, Jed! I love the way you did this one. *grin*

Very nice! LOL!