Historical Fun

Burned at the Stake: The Execution of Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury On the 21st of March in 1556, Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury , was burned at the stake, in Oxford.   Thomas Cranmer was the Archbishop of Canterbury during the reigns of King Henry VIII, Edward VI, and please not ... Mary-Mother-Of-God-I'm-Going-To-Die.   It was Thomas Cranmer who made it possible, and actually constructed the case, for the annulment of the marriage of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon. He also set up and promoted the newly formed Protestant religion and Church of England with the King as the head of the church, instead of the Pope.   This was fine under the Protestant King Henry VIII, and Henry's son, Edward VI. However, when Mary I, a Roman Catholic, became Queen, he was basically screwed.   Mary was also the daughter of Catherine of Aragon, so that did Thomas Cranmer no favours. And she held a grudge.   Within seconds...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY MARCH 20th On this day in history in 1616, after 13 years, Sir Walter Raleigh was freed from his prison in the Tower of London.   Sir Walter Raleigh was the one-time favourite of Queen Elizabeth-I-Am-Ginger-It's-Not-A-Wig. Although they did have their rocky patches in an on-off and off-on and almost Off-With-His-Head relationship.   In March 1603, Sir Walter Raleigh and the Queen of Virgins were best of buds. Raleigh was in the good books of the monarch and stood to profit from her generosity.   Then, on the 23rd of March, she kicked the bucket.   As Sir Walter Raleigh said, "Oh, carp-on-a-stick."   Elizabeth the first's successor, King James-Just-Got-An-Upgrade, took a disliking to Sir Walter Raleigh. Probably due in no small part to a clash of personalities. King James, although 1st of England, had been King James VI of Scotland.   A suave, dashing, charismatic English knight of the Rea...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY MARCH 19th On this day in history in 1649, two months after the execution of Charles II, the House of Commons of England passed an act of Parliament abolishing the House of Lords.   They declared, we can't stand the other place, they stink of urine and snobbery. And then added, "It's useless and dangerous to the people of England."   The House of Commons is where elected members of parliament sit, and The House of Lords is where really old guys who wet themselves sit.   And they do have to sit, as they can't stand. They're really old. And smell of pee.   Nope, that actually isn't true anymore. It used to be true, though. The House of Lords really did stink of wee.   The Lords used to be all landed gentry and, as such, all had tweed jackets. These were treated "fixed" with urine to make them more durable and strong.   Unfortunately, when it rained, it gave off...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY MARCH 18th   On this day in history in 978, Edward the Martyr, 15-year-old King of England, was assassinated.   Edward the Martyr was the son of Edward the Peaceful and half-brother of Ethelred the Unready, in a time where people liked to insert verbs, nouns and adjectives after their names.   Edward the Martyr, or Eddie M. as he was known to the local rapping community, had a brief reign as King of England, of only three years.   It all came to an end after Eminem murdered the King, not at the insistence of Ethelred the Unready, who wasn't prepared to kill, as some believe, but at the goading of Ethelred's mother, who was a right evil witch, and wanted the Unready son of hers to be King.   The exact circumstances of Edward's death are uncertain. There are numerous versions and blame is placed on various people.   What is known for absolute certainty, is that he was killed by...

The Assassination of Emperor Tiberius: Killed By A Pillow On the 16th of March, 37, yes, that's actually a real year, the Emperor Tiberius was assassinated by a pillow.   The pillow may have just been where his head was resting whilst he slept. Or it may have been above his head, being pressed down, really hard, by Caligula. No one is quite sure.   Tiberius died in Misenum, aged 78, after placing himself in exile for the last years of his life. Everyone had it in for him. That bloke. The bloke over there. The geezer sitting down. The fairy on top of the Christmas tree. The gnome in his neighbour's front garden. Everyone.   The guy was a little paranoid.   And not well liked.   When news spread to Rome about the death of Emperor Tiberius, the crowd rejoiced. Then went silent when they were told he had recovered. And then rejoiced again when they heard Caligula and Macro had smothered him with an inflatable hedgehog. Pillow. They s...

The Assassination of King George I of Greece: killed by a mugger On the 18th of March 1913, King George I of Greece was assassinated in Thessaloniki.   George I ruled as King of Greece for almost fifty years, and was the second longest reigning European monarch at the time, after Queen Victoria of Great Britain.   King Edward VII of the United Kingdom, and Tsar Alexander III, the Russian Emperor, were his brothers-in-law, and George V of the United Kingdom and Tsar Nicholas II, the last Russian Emperor, were his nephews.   King George I of Greece was all joy and happiness as the 50th anniversary of his accession to the throne drew near. But he was getting tired. This Kingy business was a young man's game. He planned to abdicate later that year, after his golden jubilee in October.   In his place, his son, Constantine would sit upon the Throne of Greece.   On the 18th March, 1913, George was visiting Thessaloniki , a...

A Humorous History Account of the life of St Patrick: The Patron Saint of Ireland Every year on March 17th the world goes crazy for all things Irish.   It's the date when we celebrate the anniversary of the death (in AD 461, or AD493, or AD492, or AD503, or 457, or, yeah, pick a date, it'll be as close as anyone else can guess) of the most Irish bloke of all time -- St Patrick, the Patron Saint of Ireland.   However ,  St Patrick wasn't Irish. He was actually British.   He didn't become Irish until he studied Riverdance under an apprenticeship with Michael Flatterlyfeet. And even then he had to learn to say, "To be sure, To be sure."   St Patrick had something in common with Julius Caesar. Like Caesar, St Patrick was kidnapped by pirates. Real life Irish pirates.   Irish Pirates kidnapped the young St Patrick, who was just called Patrick back then, and took him to Ireland and ens...