History Facts for November 18

History Fun Facts for November 18th

On This Day In History, 1305, John II, Duke of Brittany, was assassinated by a wall.

A slightly unusual death for the Duke. As well as the Duke of Brittany, he was also the Earl of Richmond in England. He took part in a few crusades, which was just an elaborate cover to conceal the fact they were playing Pokémon Go.

With all the fighting and wars this guy was involved in, which included wars between England and France, you'd have thought he'd have been poked to death by a spear.

Nope. He was attending the coronation of Pope Clement V, leading the Pope's horse through a crowd, when a wall collapsed on him due to too many spectators piling on top. He was crushed, as was his horse.

On This Day In History in 1307, William Tell shot an apple off his son's head.

Not an interesting death, but an almost, holy cow, he got the apple, not the head. That was lucky.

William Tell was a famous marksman and folk hero back in the day in Switzerland.

When the newly appointed Austrian Kingy Person, Gessler, hoisted his hat on a pole and demanded the locals ALL BOW DOWN BEFORE THE HAT, William Tell refused.

"But it's my hat."

"Don't care."

"ALL WILL BOW DOWN TO MY HAT."

"Sod off."

This pissed off Gessler and he had William Tell arrested.

"But, tell you what, Tell, I am curious about your magical marksmanship powers."

"And?"

"I will not kill you."
"Cool."

"However, you must shoot an arrow from your crossbow at an apple on your little boy's head. If you shoot the apple, you and your son will live. Deal?"

"Dad, don't do it, you're not the Green Arrow?"

"It'll be fine. I've only had three vodka's and 4 litres of undiluted blackcurrant juice."

William Tell placed the apple on his son's head and said, "Stop shaking you little cry baby, Daddy's the best."

And to his promise, William Tell gripped it well, aimed for the middle, and didn't miss, not even a little. His son did, however, crap his pants.

Gessler then noticed that Tell had taken two crossbow bolts from his quiver and asked why?

William Tell was more than a little reluctant to answer, but after Gessler promised his life was spared, Tell told him.

"If I had killed my son with the first shot, the second would have killed you."

"Dad? WTF?"