Fun Facts About King Louis VIII of France

King Louis VIII of France and his very brief reign as King of England.

King Louis VIII's reign as King of France didn't last long, just a mere three years between 14th July, 1223, and 8th November, 1226.

His reign as King of England didn't ever happen. There's a signed bit of paper saying so.

Yes, he was King of England. Well, not actually, but sort of, perhaps, nah he wasn't, get back to France you French pretender.

To cut a long story short, Louis came to England on holiday as a not-yet-king-of-France. Whilst holidaying in the south of England, he got really plastered on an all night booze-up celebrating the fact his last remaining virgin dog had just got his leg over. Okay, it was with a teddy bear, but it still counts.

Completely sploshed, Prince Louis climbed atop a large wall, pulled his pants down and declared, mid-stream, as he really needed to go, that he was the new King of England.

The longer version: The English barons were a bit miffed with King John (the most hated king in English history, mainly due to Robin Hood) during the First Barons' War in 1215, as the King had banned them playing Pokémon Go.

Sheesh, and he wondered why nobody liked him.

The barons invited Prince Louis over to England, along with his almost-not-a-virgin poodle. And an army. When the Prince arrived on 21st May, 1216, the barons offered him the crown of England, in return for the secret locations of Piccachuchuchu.

The Prince agreed, entered London, as did his pet poodle.

London was not just the capital city, but also the name of a local peasant dog who was down on his luck after losing to four other dogs at poker.

Lots of people were at St Paul's Cathedral to witness Louis declared as King, including King Alexander II of Scotland. All paid homage. Louis then went about conquering a few other cities, including Winchester (14th June, 1216) and Milton Keynes (not really), which, back then, was just a cow shed and a red light district for lonely dogs.

It was going so well for Louis, he was sure they would crown him proper, not just pretend, when he returned to London.

But then King John died in October, 1216.

The barons realised they were following a French prince, and that was bad. Very bad. They did a quick about-turn and proclaimed John's nine-year-old son, Henry, as King of England. They then tagged the number 3 onto his name, just to make it official.

The Earl of Pembroke, acting as Regent for the boy-king, Henry III, made a rallying cry for the English to "defend our land" against the evil French imposter. 

The English army defeated Prince Louis at the Battle of Lincoln on 20th May, 1217. They whipped him again at sea. The Royal Navy crushed his tiny French ships at the Battle of Sandwich. 

Ironically, sliced bread hadn't been invented yet, so there were no sandwiches to celebrate the victory.

The French imposter was repelled back to Dover.

Since he was there anyway, Louis tried to conquer Dover castle. Not a chance Mr. Frenchy Prince, go back to Calais.

All's well that ends well.

At the Treaty of Lambeth (September 1217), an amnesty was given to all English rebels who supported the French Prince and future King of France, Louis VIII.

There was also a pledge from Louis that he would never attack England again on the condition he was paid 10,000 marks. It was also a condition of the money that Louis sign a written statement saying he was not, and had never been, the legitimate King of England.

Also in the small print was an arrest warrant for the Prince's poodle for crimes against a tortoise.

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26 Fun facts about Canada

26 Fun Facts About Canada

Happy Canada Day to Canadians around the world.

Today is Canada day, previously called Dominion Day, which has nothing to do with the Federation's victory over the Dominion during Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Canada Day celebrates the anniversary of the Constitution Act of 1867 (which was originally called the British North American Act), uniting the three colonies of the Province of Canada, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswich, into a single Dominion within the British Empire, thereafter known and called Canada. 

Fun Fact #1. It was renamed as Canada Day in 1982.

Fun Fact #2. In 1980, "O Canada" was made the official National anthem of Canada.

Fun Fact #3. Did You Know these people are actually Canadians: Jim Carrey, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Michael J. Fox, Dan Ackroyd, Mike Myers, and William Shatner are all Canadians.

Fun Fact #4: Kiefer Sutherland might be a Canadian as well.

Perhaps, maybe, yeah he is, kinda. I'm sure it still counts.

Kiefer was born in London, then moved to California soon after. His parents were Canadian, though: Donald Sutherland and Shirley Douglas.

Fun Fact #5. A recent study found, 86% of Canadians felt like they lived in the best country in the world.

Fun Fact #6. After the results of a recent study were published, 14% of Canadians have been deported for treason. ***

Fun Fact #7. A recent study found the letter "A" is a Canadian's favourite letter in the alphabet.***

Fun Fact #8. Since 1998, makers of Alphabetti Spaghetti, Heinz, removed all the letters from their tin, except the letter "A". ***

Fun Fact #9. Canada's national symbol is the Beaver. 

Why not?

Who doesn't like a nice beaver?

Beavers are cute and furry, but can bite if you don't stroke them right. They have been known to attack if aggravated enough.

Fun Fact #10. Canadians call their $1 coin a "Loonie."

Fun Fact #11. Canadians call their $2 coin a "Toonie.

Fun Fact #12. Canada Day is also called "Moving Day."

Although July 1st is known as Canada Day to most Canadians, those in Quebec call it "Moving Day" as this is traditionally the day their leases expire and they have to move.

Fun Fact #13. Canada is colder than Mars.

On February 3rd, 1947, a temperature of -63C was recorded in the village of Snag. That's colder than the surface of Mars.

Fun Fact #14. Canada has 563 lakes larger than 100 square kilometres. 

Fun Fact #15. Canada's great lakes contain 18% of the world's fresh lake water.

Fun Fact #16. Canada has more surface area covered by lakes than any other country in the world.

Fun Fact #17. Canada is huge. It covers 9.98 million square kilometres. That's a lot of miles.

Fun Fact #18. Canada is actually bigger than the whole of the European Union.

Fun Fact #19. Canada is also bigger than Walt Disney World. In fact, it's bigger than nearly 82,000 Walt Disney Worlds put together.

Fun Fact #20. The Capital of Canada is Ottawa. It has a population of about a million people, making it only the 4th largest city in Canada.

Fun Fact #22. Ottawa was founded in 1826. Back then it was called Bytown, though. It didn't become Ottawa until 1855.

Fun Fact #21. The largest city in Canada is Toronto. It has a population of 2,731,571.

Fun Fact #22. Although the second largest country on the planet, 80% of the population of Canada is squeezed into large and medium-sized cities.

Fun Fact #23. The word "Canada" is derived from the St. Lawrence Iroquoian word "kanata" which means "village" or "settlement.

Fun Fact #24. On July 1st, 1923, the Chinese Immigration act was enacted by the Canadian Government stopping all immigrations from China.

Fun Fact #25. Canada's national flag became official on February 15th, 1965 (nearly 100 years after becoming a country).

Fun Fact #26. Canada has it's own mythical monster. It's called the Ogopogo and allegedly resides in Lake Okanagan, British Canada.

Note. Those marked with *** are not real facts. They are just for laughs.