History Fun Facts for January 6th

HISTORICAL FUN FACTS FOR JANUARY 6th

On This Day in History in 1540, King Henry VIII married his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves.

 

So ugly was Anne of Cleves, the King referred to her as The Flanders Mare. A horse by any other name. But, at the end of the day, that's what you get from internet dating.

 

He had been shown a picture of her before the marriage took place, and hadn't met. Oh, big mistake. Although we've all been there. The picture bore little resemblance to Anne's actual likeness. They did get married though.

 

Yet, for some reason it didn't last long. Later that year in July, King Henry-The-Eighth-Wife-Will-Be-A-Keeper decided to get the marriage annulled and move onto the next one. He promised the marriage had never been consummated, and everyone believed him this time. Who'd pork a horse?

 

Anne lived happily ever after, which couldn't be said for most of Henry's wives. She was referred to, after the non-marriage, as Henry's beloved sister. She outlived Henry and the other wives, and even saw the coronation of Queen Mary I, Henry's ugly duckling.

 

On This Day, the 6th of January, 1066, Edward the Confessor became the first King of England to be buried at Westminster Abbey.

 

That probably had nothing to do with him commissioning the building of the Abbey. Just a coincidence. Harold-Soon-To-Lose-An-Eye-To-William-The-Conker-Player was proclaimed king and crowned king on the same day, using Edward's dead body as a throne.

 

About 100 years after Edward died, he was canonised by Pope Alexander III in an ancient ceremony of digging up his rotting corpse and shooting him out of a cannon. Yep, pretty sure that's how they made someone a saint back then.

 

He was soon adopted as the Patron Saint of England, until a total git came along and killed a dragon. Sheesh, I hate that George bloke. Killing dragons should never be rewarded.

 

Also in the news:

 

On This Day, the 6th of January, 1066, Harold-Soon-To-Lose-An-Eye-To-William-The-Conker-Player was proclaimed King of England, and also crowned King on the same day, using Edward's dead and still warm body as a throne.

 

Harold would become the first of three English Kings to die in battle. The other two were Richard-Eats-Hearts-Of-Lions (the 1st) and Richard-Killed-My-Nephews (the 3rd).

 

Richard-Snacks-On-Large-Kitties suffered a serious case of shot-by-arrow, and Richard-Me-No-Seen-Nephews-I-Promise was hit by a car park.

Historical Fun: Humorous history facts November 3rd

Historical Fun: History fun facts for November 3rd

On This Day, 3rd of November, 1534, the English Parliament passed the Act of Supremacy.

 

The Act made Henry-Of-The-Many-Numbers (8 of them) the head of the Church of England. Prior to this, the Pope was head of the Church of England.

 

Basically, he was married to Catherine of Aragon, who couldn't produce a boy sprog, and, let's face it, was getting a bit old.

 

Henry, on his travels, discovered a pretty little innocent thing. He wanted to bump uglies with her. Bumpity bump them a lot. However, this pretty little innocent thing, let's call her Anne-I-Have-A-Plan-Boleyn, said, "You don't go down, unless I have a Crown."

 

So, Henry, desperate for a bit of Hide-The-Crown-Jewels-In-Anne, tried to get the Pope to annul his marriage to Arrogant Catherine so he could marry Anne-With-A-Cunning-Plan.

 

The Pope wasn't having any of it and denied Henry's request. Not perturbed, Henry separated from the Catholic Church and created himself as head of the Church of England under the Protestant religion.

 

King Henry VIII then annulled his own marriage to Catherine-Of-Arrgh-You-Can't-Be-Serious-You-Bastard and married Anne-Is-Gonna-Have-Her-Head-Chopped-Off.

 

So, all's well that ends well.

 

On This Day, 1783, John Austin became the last person to be publicly hanged at London's infamous Tyburn Gallows.

 

John Austin was a highwayman and murderer. His hanging was not quick.

 

As his body fell, instead of the noose breaking his neck, as was normal under such circumstance, the rope slipped and he didn't die instantly. Instead, it took about ten minutes for him to choke to death.