5 Fun Facts About Edward the Confessor

Fun Facts About Edward the Confessor

 

1. Edward the Confessor was born as a baby.

 

Yes, that's generally how it happens. It's not certain of the exact date, as they weren't good at keeping accurate records back in the day, but he was definitely a baby when he was born.

 

Most historians believe Edward the Confessor was born in 1003ish in Oxfordshire, England.

 

2. Edward's father was Ethelred the Unready, which was his excuse to his wife on their wedding night.

 

"I wasn't ready. Can we try again in ten minutes?"

 

3. Edward had two brothers, Alfred, and Godgifu.

 

Oops, Godgifu was his sister. Wonder why that name didn't catch on? He also had a myriad of older half-siblings. His father and mother were a little promiscuous to say the least.

 

4. Edward the Confessor was called The Confessor because he ran a series of experiments on hedgehogs trying to extract confessions from them using nipple clamps.

 

Or maybe because he is said to have lived a porpoise and saintly life.

 

Although what dolphins have to do with anything, I don't know. Oh, wait ... pious. He lived a pious life, not porpoise.

 

5. Edward became King of England on the 8th June 1042.

 

Check out the bonus round:

The Long and Winding Journey of 

How Edward The Confessor became King Of England 

 

6. Edward died on the 5th January 1066.

 

The following day he became the first King of England to be buried at Westminster Abbey.

 

That probably had nothing to do with him commissioning the building of the Abbey, though. Just a coincidence.

 

Harold-Soon-To-Lose-An-Eye-To-William-The-Conker-Player was proclaimed king and crowned king on the same day, using Edward's dead body as a throne.

7. About 100 years after he died, Edward was canonised by Pope Alexander III in an ancient ceremony of digging up his rotting corpse and shooting him out of a cannon.

 

Yep, pretty sure that's how they made someone a saint back then.

 

He was adopted as the Patron Saint of England until a total git came along and killed a dragon. Sheesh, I hate that Saint George bloke. Killing dragons should never be rewarded.