Monday 22 August 2016

History Fact August 22nd - King Richard III special

History Fact - August 22nd
 
On This Day In History in 1485, King Richard III of England was killed by Henry Tudor at the Battle of Bosworth Field.
 
Fun Fact: Richard III was the last English King to die in battle.
 
He died at the battle of Bosworth Field in 1485 after a series of serious but subtle, although very aggressive and devastatingly, devastating blows to his head.
 
In fact, he had 11 wounds in total, 8 of them to the head.
 
He died after his prized white hedgehog, which he rode into the Battle of Bosworth Field, screaming, "Treason," got stuck in the mud.
 
Probably should have used a horse.
 
As King Richard-The-Turd charged at Henry Tudor waving his Lightsaber (they were fighting a war over the correct colour of a rose), Richard got struck down by a large object to the back of his head. Possibly an air-to-king missile. We'll never know for certain.
 
Henry-I'm-About-To-Be-The-Seventh-Tudor, who was riding a Giant Panda, actually came to within a sword's length of being struck down by the Sith Lord, Darth Richard-Will-Get-A-Third-Off-His-Parking-Ticket-If-He-Pays-Within-Seven-Days.
 
The barmy Richard was a pretty good soldier and fighter. He had all ready cut down more than a dozen-million of Henry's men to reach his replacement. That's when a blow to the head put an end to his reign, and his Yorkshire Terrier/White Hedgehog breeding program.
 
Now, if Richard-Needs-Some-Aspirin had been wearing a helmet instead of his crown (what a show off) then he may have been victorious that day and William Shakespeare would never have dreamed of ridiculing the poor guy.
Buried where he fell. And didn't pay for parking.
 
Richard-The-Third-Time-I'm-Buried-Is-The-Last was found in a Leicester car park in September 2012, begging for spare change and asking people to sign a petition banning any play written by William Shakespeare.
 
For many years, historians and archaeologists were keen to find the Church of the Grey Friars, where it was rumoured Richard III was buried. When they finally found a skeleton and an unpaid parking ticket, they rejoiced.
 
They finally had a tourist attraction in Leicester that people would actually want to come and see. He was buried, then dug up and reburied (and buried again), being shoved in so tight that king aint getting out, no matter how loud those Yorkists moan.
 
He was buried in an almost lavish an regal ceremony attended by the Archbishop of Canterbury at Leicester Cathedral.

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