5 Handy Parenting Tips

Some handy parenting advice and tips.

1. So, your little angel is misbehaving. It's perfectly normal, they are testing to see how far they can push you, and how much they can get away with. However, it's friggin annoying. And, apparently, you can't duct tape your four-year-old to the wall. Which means you have to come up with some imaginary ways to play on their gullibility. Such as: Santa is watching to see if you make it onto the naughty or nice lists. If you have an alarm motion sensor in your room, then tell your kids that every time it flashes red, Santa is watching to see if they are being good.

2. It's the evening, it's getting on, and your angel-with-the-devil's-tail isn't asleep yet. And, even worse, they want to carry on watching cartoons. All you want to do is relax with a glass of wine and watch a grown up program. So, what to do? Simples. "I want to watch cartoons, too, snookums-shookums. But we have to watch this grown up program because there aren't any cartoons at night. It's when all the cartoon characters go to sleep. And we can't wake them up or they won't be around for you to watch tomorrow. Yeah, it's a real shame, but can't be helped."

3. You need some space from the kids. Nothing wrong with that. They are great, and awesome, and overwhelming and demanding and attention seeking little brats. Solution: Have a night out. Just for Mommy and Daddy. But the little toe-rag wants to come along. What do you do? Simples: "We'd love to take you to the restaurant with us, little honeybear. But the waiters are allergic to your shampoo and we don't want to make them ill, do we? Nope, of course we don't. Maybe we can change your shampoo for the next time we go out."

4. Not sure I agree with using the next one, as I want ice-cream more than the kids. But, what the heck, it's advice for those who think their kids eat too much of the nice stuff and not enough apples. "What? Oh, no, that's terrible. The ice-cream van's music is playing. That means they're all out of ice cream."

5. If you've got young kids, then you'll have encountered the "trying to get them out of the house in the morning" problem. There are a few levels of solutions to this problem. It just depends on how much you want to scare the carp out of your kids. "If you're not ready for school in five minutes, I'll leave without you. And, remember, when I leave and set the alarm, that's when the ghosts/goblins/monsters know it's okay to come out."


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